More than a friend...

Reese: He's not even a friend. He's a retard.

a new superhero?

reese: I am f'in magificently retarded. Call me the great Magnotard!

I don't even know her

Friend in car: Reese, do you like to read?

Reese: Who's Tereid?

How to get away with murder: Lesson 1

Reese: Yeah I wud suggest putting honey in her body lotion or bug repellent so a bear eats her. It'll look like an accident.

Fat bastard

Reese: Oh my god, I just drooled a little on my keyboard after typing cheeseburger. WTF. I have no other comment on this as I am so disgusted with myself I cannot put words to my feelings.

What continent is that in again?

reese: yeah, buddhist funerals ARE cool. We should move to Buddha. Wait...no, that's not right. Don't tell anybody I said that.

One of hundreds of Will Farrell references

Reese: Its like Will Ferrell in Blades of Glory after he can no longer work as a professional ice skater and he joins some corny show on ice.
It was the best part of the movie, and now it will be my life...

Hopefully, she had you at hello.

Let's have a jerry maquire moment and you can grab my fish bowl and declare that you are coming with me. yeah??

The Midas Touch

on how awesome Fright Fest was last year...

Reese: I just know anything we touch is gold. We're golden. We're fuckin money, baby.

Mr. Hanky's idea of a cocktail...

reese: Totally drank 'go to the bathroom' tea instead of green tea...by accident. Considerable difference in that you go to the bathroom a lot. A LOT.